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Allow me to get personal with you. I’m going to have a baby soon-like. My first. No, I’m not pregnant. My husband and I are adopting. We’re at the end of the rope with the red tape (literally, not emotionally) and we’ve been told we’ll be matched SOON. We’re going domestic, so things can happen quickly. And we’ll have a NEWBORN. It’s crazy and scary and exciting and mind-boggling.

When you’re in the thick of the paperwork and fingerprinting and background checks and home inspections and interviews and health histories and classes and photobook-making (for the birth mother), it’s all you can do to check these things off the list while managing all the other things you have going on in your life. Now that this is all done, it’s holy s**t, we need a crib and diapers and all that.

So we’ve been in the thick of transforming my office into a bedroom (it was a bedroom to begin with) and getting ready for this little nugget. What’s the best gender-neutral color for the walls? What are the most environmentally-friendly diapers? Where do we find a non-brominated crib mattress? What are the best BPA-free bottles? And I’ll be damned if I feed this baby soy-based formula. Another thing to research.

I’m pretty transparent with my clients (and with most people), so some of you know that we’ve been trying to get pregnant without doing IVF. I didn’t get married ‘til I was 39 and I’m now 43. And a natural pregnancy hasn’t happened for us, although I think it’s entirely possible still. 

Several of my clients have come to me fertility-challenged and most have since conceived. And I’m so, so happy every time a client or previous client tells me their good news. My own journey has given me so many natural fertility-enhancing strategies and I love helping my clients see fertility optimization in a whole new way.

But we haven’t gotten pregnant. Why? Don’t know. No thyroid issues. Super duper low thyroid antibodies. A good diet with lots of FAT. Lots of acupuncture and Chinese herbs. Femoral massage. I ovulate with the full moon (peak fertility time) and have my period with the new moon. Estrogen and progesterone levels “excellent,” according to my functional medicine doctor. No pregnancy.

It’s okay. I don’t cry when I get my period. I’m not devastated. When my husband and I met, one of the first conversations we had was about how we wanted to adopt no matter what (yes, this was one of our early conversations). So this is all part of the plan. And every single person I know who’s adopted has said, “This child was MEANT for me/us.” It makes me tear up every time I think about it.

So I know that no matter what gender or race this little person will be, he or she will be meant for us. I’ll share photos!