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At the risk of sharing some personal information – something I don’t usually do – I will disclose that I recently bought a house. A cute little mid-century gem in need of a lot of TLC. My biggest project has been to gut the original 1956 kitchen right down to the bare walls. It’s been exciting, frustrating and terrifying…and it’s still not done. 

In the process, I’ve noticed something interesting. I haven’t yet been able to claim the house as my own. I can’t – not without a kitchen. Sure, there are lots of projects still to be completed that would really make this place mine, but I keep avoiding them. I haven’t even unpacked the bathroom! And this has me thinking – the kitchen really is the center of the home and without it, something significant is missing.

Especially as we approach Thanksgiving (and the holidays in general), I doubt there are many reading this who don’t have warm memories of family meals lovingly prepared in the kitchen. And who hasn’t experienced that party phenomenon where everyone gravitates to the kitchen while ignoring the carefully arranged hors d’oeuvres and warm fire in the living room?

It’s a distressing fact that families are cooking less and less nowadays. Dr. Mark Hyman recently stated that in 2010, 50% of meals in this country were eaten away from home as compared to 2% in 1910. How sad. Yes, I know we’re all working long hours and cooking at home takes more time, but we somehow find an extra two hours per day, outside of work, to spend on our computers.

And at what cost? What are we losing economically, socially, emotionally, and physically?

The corporations that make all those processed and restaurant foods are thriving. So is the healthcare industry as the rates of obesity and chronic disease continue to rise.

They’re thriving at our expense.

Unlike farms, in corporate megabuildings, there are no gardens, no sunshine, no rain, no insects to spread pollen, no earthworms to aerate the soil…heck, there isn’t any soil! Where’s the love and devotion in a frozen pizza or box of instant mac and cheese?

We’re not only losing our physical health, but we’re losing our center – that primal need to give and receive love, to connect, to feel rooted in something so fundamental that without it we are never really whole.

The constant go go go, heat-it-and-eat-it, grab and go lifestyle that many of us are living is directly affecting our wellbeing. We need to slow down, take a few deep breaths, and let go of the idea that every moment needs to be filled with mind-stimulating activity. Digestion starts in the brain and eating quickly, mindlessly, or while doing something else tells the brain to focus elsewhere and diverts the energy and circulation needed for proper nutrient assimilation and absorption. 

Given that 70-80% of the immune system is in the gut, this has big implications for anyone with autoimmunity, who’s immuno-compromised, or for those who tend to get sick easily in these winter months.

Plus, if you’re not cooking, do you really know what you’re eating? What chemicals, additives, pesticides, antibiotics, and hormones – all of which have a profound effect on our hormonal and immune system – are you ingesting? For some, the convenience of having someone else – or something else (think microwave) – prepare their meals sadly overshadows any concerns about the quality of food they’re eating.

So, what if, for one month, we set the intention to cook at least five days a week? Sit down, as a family, without mail, TV, phones, or computers, and enjoy a meal together. Just be…together. If you live alone, you too can set aside electronic distractions, play some soft music, and enjoy a solo candlelight dinner with the intention of breathing deeply and slowly savoring each bite. 

Nothing connects us to our source or to our love of self and others like a home-cooked meal with real, fresh food. Try lingering at the table instead of jumping up as soon as your plate is clean. Wait for everyone to finish. Talk, share the events of the day, look each other in the eye, smile, laugh. And when you’re done, I’m willing to bet that everyone will feel happy and replenished in the best possible way.